The Process of Becoming

The Process of Becoming

Far out in the seemingly endless forests and marshes of Maryland, along the wild shores of New Jersey, Delaware, and Virginia I slowly came to understand that I was an artist.

The moment I picked up a camera for the first time, it was for practical reasons only. This was about science, and I promised myself that my relationship with nature would never change. I would never allow myself to become an artist.

But it was already too late. Through the lens of the camera, I saw the nature in context of humanity: as subject and master, as cause and effect, as other, and as one and the same. I lost my analytical coldness in the enormity of the untouched wilderness, in the vast expanses of night filled with millions of stars in places far from city lights. I was free in ways I never had been before. I became bold and self aware in ways I never imagined possible.

That process of becoming--that becoming I had promised myself I would never allow--had taken hold. I not only allowed it, I chose it. And I accepted the pain that came with it.

As time passed, I found myself looking back with longing at an innocent and hopeful version of myself who did not know so much about the world. I wondered if I could have been happier if I had continued in my earlier naivete. I wondered what could have been different for me if I had not allowed the artist to emerge.

Now again I find that I becoming, and looking back. I see the last version of myself as a wide-eyed young one who fell in love with nature and for a brief time could truly believe it was that simple.

Study of Female and Male Hummingbirds
Archival Pigment Print
Rose Anderson, 2014

 

 

From There to Here

From There to Here

Harbingers

Harbingers